As I was brushing my teeth last night I was asking myself why a certain thing kept happening.  Why do I keep seeing these situations? Why would I choose to keep experiencing this? What. Is. This. Trying. To. Teach. Me.  

Not in a way that was unkind but in a way where my higher self was coaching my reality/ego self.  Do you know what the answer was?

"You're still making it about you"

Not me in a way that's self-centered but in a way that when 'bad' things happen, I'm making it my fault.  I'm making it mean something about me in a negative way.  I'm making it trigger my perfection that if only I could do _____ then everything would be fine.  When I'm tired and feeling very....human, these are my thoughts.  I'm just never enough. What I do is not enough. It's not good enough to obtain a result. I'M not good enough to obtain a result.

This is how I'm making it about me.  But then if I were to think of myself as my inner child I would NEVER say anything every CLOSE to that kind of shit to a child.  I dreamt last night about being really held and loved and woke up with the thoughts of "regardless of what's happening externally, you can love yourself with all your heart" 

My external situation is dictating my inner worth.  I'm LETTING it dictate my internal worth. 

Then I took my cute little butt that felt loved regardless of external situations to the Italian Centre for coffee, where I'm sitting here updating the website and going through email listening to a podcast, where the podcast host spoke this quote,

"Enough is a relationship to what you already have - it's a FEELING.  You have enough because you are enough. You'd don't have to chase or prove that you're enough.  Nothing is going to fill that externally.  YOU are the answer to this question, and gratitude and appreciation are the answer"

Audio is one of the best ways that I learn that I can receive truth and how my brain loves to receive information.   If you feel like this is resonating and feeling silly-goose-ish about feeling human, a great practice to try today is a rampage of appreciation. Grab that beautiful journal and just unless the floodgates of what you're grateful for. What you're appreciating. let it alll out and even talk about it at dinner.  It's a vibe. 

This is the podcast I was listening to if you're interested.  Podcast

Always,

m